Mar 022014

I realized today that I’ve moved into the ranks of “decidedly adult.” As opposed to “can skirt by with self-identifying as ‘young adult’ ” or even “early 30s.” What caused me to realize this? It wasn’t turning 35; that happened a few weeks back. It wasn’t finding out I have another child on the way; that happened several weeks before that.

No, it was having a few minutes to do housework in peace, with D taking T out of the house for an hour or two to play elsewhere. And deciding to listen to some music. And recalling, well, I dig on Regina Spektor and, well, the boy decidedly does not (going so far as to attempt to smash the computer to get the piano and vocals to stop). And put on “Far.” Which I was thinking of as “Regina Spektor’s new album, which I’ve been meaning to listen to more.” When I discovered the damned thing is almost five years old, and Regina’s got at least one subsequent studio album. A subsequent studio album I actually bought back in 2012, and which I haven’t yet gotten around to listening to. Me = old.

 Posted by at 10:10 am
Jan 142014

I have a routine. Well, I attempt to have a routine, that usually falls apart sometime mid-morning, and sometime falls apart before I even wake up. One aspect of this routine involves a couple of cups of coffee–aside: why is it a cup of coffee, not a mug of coffee–to get the ol’ brain working. And to get the ol’ bowels moving. These cups of coffee are made at home with an old school Mr. Coffee drip machine. What happens, though, when I don’t quite get around to going to Freddy’s or TJ’s for beans? Well, I end up purchasing an espresso drink from Bar Francis.

What does all this have to do with Gavin Rossdale, the former front-man of the popular, if somewhat critically reviled, 90s British guitar band Bush? The not-brewed-at-home coffee doesn’t make an appearance until after I’m at work. A couple of hours after I wake. And well after I ordinarily see some movement downstairs. Absent the early-morning cuppa, I’m stuck with decidedly non-loose stool. And so I have to force it. Here comes Mr. Rossdale. His singing style (at least on the popular hits) seems to be motivated primarily by constipation, and so, at least for this limited purpose, acts as motivational singing.

So thank you, Mr. Rossdale. You’re not as tasty or pleasant as coffee, but you get the job done.

 Posted by at 6:25 am
Dec 022013

When we went to Bellingham for Thanksgiving this year, we weren’t entirely certain the hosts–my aunt and uncle, who’s grandchildren are now between seven and seventeen years of age–would have much in the way of age appropriate toys for T. So we thought to bring some of T’s toys along for the ride. Only thing was, we were driving D’s Impreza, which isn’t exactly the largest vehicle in the world, and we had an assortment of other, somewhat more necessary things to bring along. Like a portable crib. And a booster seat. And my brother. So we had to be choosy.

[As it turns out, this was patently unnecessary, because somehow there was a collection of toddler-appropriate toys and books that had collected in my aunt and uncle's house over the years.]

D’s solution was to purchase a Fisher Price Little People bus. Which, it turns out, actually comes with batteries. Which made it quite a bit more annoying than I was hoping. But it seemed to occupy him pretty well for a few minutes. Success.

Thing is, when I hear the word “bus” now, my brain immediately starts playing 50 Cent’s “21 Questions.” As in, “could you love me on a bus?” Fucking earworm-recording motherfucker ruined another Thanksgiving. But it dovetailed nicely with the copy of “Green Eggs and Ham” we brought along.

 Posted by at 1:06 pm
Nov 232013

So for a few months, I’ve inexplicably had a mashup of “Look Down” from Les Miserables (where Gavroche talks about his unposh patch) and “Tip and Ty” (the 1840 campaign song that booted Martin Van Buren from the White House, as recorded in 2004 by they They Might Be Giants, where it failed to boot George W. Bush from the White House) running through my head. Anyone have any suggestions for booting the Whigs and the Beggars from my skull?

 Posted by at 5:10 pm