N.J. Supreme Court Moves U.S. Closer to Bradgelina Wedding

by christopher taylor

TRENTON, NJ--The New Jersey Supreme Court decided committed homosexual couples have the right to the same financial and social benefits and privileges provided to committed heterosexual couples under he liberty and equal protection guarantees of Article I, Paragraph 1 of the New Jersey Constitution. In so deciding, the New Jersey Supreme Court may have positively influenced Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to enter into a legal marriage inside the United States, according to gossip columnist Joan Karnak.

"We're very excited," explained Karnak. "Ever since Brad [Pitt] mouthed off in that Esquire interview about the unacceptable state of homosexual rights vis a vis marriage in the U.S., we've been without hope of a Bradgelina wedding, at least in the foreseeable future. I mean, have you seen the kind of hateful shit some states have been coming up with lately? We even though some European country might snag the Bradgelina wedding. But now, with a solid if incomplete win on the New Jersey front, we're back in business. We may just get the star-studded extraveganza wedding we as Americans desire and deserve."

Neither Angelina Jolie nor Brad Pitt could be reached for comment for this story.