Tiger, Woods Assault Elin Nordegren

by christopher taylor

AUGUSTA, GA--While PGA golfer Tiger Woods was busy winning his fourth Masters Title on Sunday, his wife, Swedish model Elin Nordegren, was taking a stroll through a quaint Georgian meadow. Just as Nordegren was about to ford a small creek, she heard a sound.

"There was the rustling in the grass behind me," Nordegren related. "And then this giant cat leaped out and started battering me around like a too-talkative wife."

Nordegren managed to run away from the tiger, which had escaped from a nearby obligate carnivore sanctuary.

"I headed for this forest, knowing tigers hate trees," explained Nordegren. "When suddenly the trees started smacking me. I don't know if it was the wind or what, but my arms are black and blue all over. Like a child who won't get daddy another beer."

Woods hit a 15-foot birdie putt on the first extra hole to beat rival Chris DiMarco.