Rice Rules Out Presidency

"Being Likeable Is Hard Work"

by christopher taylor

WASHINGTON, DC-- Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Sunday ruled out running for president, responding to speculation fueled by a recent poll showing support for a Rice candidacy.

"I just hate having to make an effort to appear likeable," Rice said in an interview with Yodelling Llama. "I'm a bitter bitch who hates almost everyone. Except my husband, Georgie. Oops. Am I awake?"