Michael Jackson Introduces Fourth Child: Kay Michael Aress Jackson I

KRS-One Sues

by christopher taylor

PARIS--International pop star Michael Jackson announced the birth of his fourth child--his second without the involvement of a female human--Kay Michael Aress Jackson I from atop the Eiffel Tower Wednesday night.

"I just want to say how happy I am to be a father again," gushed Jackson to a motley crowd of fans, paparazzi and French civilians while holding up the bundle of towels that commentators suspect contained the child.

"Shame he didn't dangle the baby off the edge this time," quipped one photographer at the event.

Jackson declined to indulge the gathering with music or dance, but did remember to thank critically acclaimed hip hop artist KRS-One for "all his love and support" and "the use of his name." He also again criticized former Sony Music Chairman Tommy Mattola for his "racism" and "devilish ways."

KRS-One's lawyer later revealed that the artist "does not love or support Michael Jackson" and "is going to sue the shit out of him."

Tommy Mattola could not be reached for comment.