Man Shoots Coworker, Face Due to Slow Computer

by the bloody mess formerly known as christopher taylor

MOSCOW, ID--University of Idaho employee Christopher Taylor fired seven rounds from an unlicensed Charles Daly into coworker and campus operator Jennifer Coolidge at 11:05 AM, Friday morning, before emptying the magazine into his left eye.

Coolidge, in critical condition at Gritman Medical Center, commented to the police that immediately prior to the shooting, "he was complaining about not being able to do his job properly because his aging computer could not even run a web browser at a reasonable speed."

Police are still investigating, but have commented that "the computer is really shitty," and are considering exonerating the deceased Taylor of any crimes.

The University's ITS Department could not be reached for comment.