Bush Calls for Show of Cards

by christopher taylor

U.S. President George W. Bush demanded Iraqi President Saddam Hussein "show [his] cards" Thursday night during a prime-time news conference, in which he related his love affair with "war games", and reminded the stalling U.N. Security Council that "we really don't need anybody's permission."

"Read 'em and weep," Hussein responded late last night during a televised news conference. "Two pair, queens and sixes."

The Bush Administration is expected to be "devastated by the news," given that Bush was holding only "ace high".

"How this preliminary battle will affect the outcome of the war, we do not yet know," stated political commentator Emmanuel Lewis. "But of this you can be sure: Hussein is either an honest man or a good cheater. [North Korean President] Kim Jong Il would have almost certainly gone for the royal flush. Or at least a full house. The two pair move was well played."