Iraq Admits Inspectors; Demands U.S. Inspection, Disarmament

"We Have No 'Weapons of Mass Destruction', Mr. Bush," Cries Hussein. "Do You?"

by christopher taylor

BAGDHAD--Iraqi President Saddam Hussein sent the United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan a follow up letter to Monday's "come on in" and "remove any doubts Iraq still possesses weapons of mass destruction," wherein he criticized the United Nations' lack of interest in the United States' "well documented possession and usage of the very same type of weaponry Iraq is accused of developing."

"We do not currently have weapons of mass destruction. We are not developing weapons of mass destruction. We will allow the U.N. to enter our sovereign nation, look around, and make sure I'm telling the truth," Hussein stated. "I have to wonder, though, why it is a similar inspection and disarmament campaign is not on the table for this aggressive and dangerous regime known as the U.S."

U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell's response, that "Hussein is insane. [U.S. President] Bush is not. That is the difference", struck many as being unconvincing and childish, and it is widely suspected to have been written by Bush himself.

"Where is the psychological evidence?" asked Iraqi Deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz.

Annan took Hussein's points, but expects the U.N. will likely not inspect U.S. facilities any time in the near future. "Frankly, we're scared of what they might do. They do have the nuclear arsenal to destroy the surface of the planet several times over. Oh, and Iraq agreed to this on paper several years ago. To my knowledge, the U.S. hasn't."