Superband "The Jacks" Announce Summer Tour

Not-So-Superband "Not The Jacks" Find Abandonment Issues, Scheduling Conflicts

by jack gray

DETROIT--Jack Black, of Tenacious D, and Jack White, of the White Stripes have announced sixteen shows slated for later this summer. The duo will be touring under the name "The Jacks."

"I thought the name was a pretty obvious move," stated White.

"This is a good thing for the both of us. A side project frees us from many of the expectations," commented Black. "I won't be forced to pacify the humor-starved hordes anymore, and Jack won't necessarily be surrounded by apathetic faux punk posers...or whatever his fan base is like...for a few months."

Reaction to The Jacks formation and tour has been strong. Ticketmaster has reported "higher than expected" initial sales, and expects many of the more popular venues to sell out within a few days.

"Ditched" bandmates Meg White and Kyle Gass have, however, not been quite so positive.

"I've always hated these 'superbands'. Good music takes so much more than a few good musicians," whined Gass, Jack's guitarist/fetish/friend. "It takes a cultivated relationship. It takes time. It takes camaraderie."

"When I found out they were calling the band 'The Jacks', I got mad. I'm not named Jack, you know," explained Meg, Jack's drummer/fetish/sister/ex-wife. "So Kyle and I decided to form our own band. I'm not named Kyle either, so we decided on 'Not The Jacks'. That'll learn 'em."

"Not The Jacks" is reportedly finding problems scheduling their own tour due to venue owners' idea that "there is only so much of a market for a Tenacious D/White Stripes cross pollination band" and "the audiences prefer to see the front men and/or the talent."