Newark Mayor Sharpe James Dyslexic

by bret "bitter" schundler

NEWARK, NJ--Lydia and Clarence Sharpe of Maplewood, NJ gave birth to a beautiful baby boy nearly sixty-six years ago. They named him James. Fifty years then four mayoral elections later, Newark, NJ Mayor and State Senator Sharpe James has come to a realization: he is dyslexic. "I not can keep order in words. Name my is likely the example best: Sharpe James," stated political powerhouse James in a public address.

"Our baby lost the family name," Lydia Sharpe complained to the NAACP. "The White Man's 'backwards disease' must be stopped."

The urban mayor is likely to follow the lead of many dyslexic politicians: by denying its manifest and admitted existence, and distracting the public with scandal involving women, drugs or money laundering.