Yankee Fan with Irritable Bowel Syndrome Makes Mess

by christopher taylor

EDISON, NJ--Mariano Rivera, Mariano Rivera's self-proclaimed "#1 Fan", made a big mess on Sunday night shortly after the New York Yankees lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks in the bottom of the ninth inning.

Rivera, whose spastic colon regularly acts up in times of great stress, angrily stated, "of course the Yankees losing a World Series is a stressful situation!"

Rivera's launderer could not be reached for comment.