Surprising Myths

by christopher taylor

Myth #1: Liquid soap comes from Uncle Barry's penis.

Note the differences in odor and cleaning ability.

Myth #2: Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden are different people.

Note the Superman-lame beard disguise and the never-seen-in-the-same-room-together "coincidence".

Myth #3: Chocolate is bad for you.

Who do you really believe: Willy Wonka or the AMA?

Myth #4: You are attractive.

Seriously, when was the last time you got laid without alcohol, love or rape?

Myth #5: Fish exist.

It has been suggested that humans regularly hallucinate when in contact with water. Fishmongers know this and stock their stores with plastic bags filled with water. This explains 1) why only people inexperienced with mental illness or LSD like fish, and 2) why peoples that subsist almost entirely upon fish are usually malnourished.

Myth #6: Al Gore is a robot.

Note the dancing-sweat-stains on his underarms; far too nice a touch to be thought up by computer programmer. Also note lack of breasts or blades.