Scooby-Doo: Behind the Scenes

An Interview with Shaggy

by christkiller johnson

We all watched Scooby-Doo as children. Hell, most of us attempted to solve mysteries by saying "jinkees", or tried to construct our very own Mystery Machines from household items. But few of us ever realized exactly what happened on the set of animated pioneer Scooby Doo, Where Are You?

I was able to catch up with Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, the cuddly petrified stoner, last week at his Central Park home.

Yodelling Llama: What do you remember most about working on Scooby-Doo?

Shaggy: I remember how CBS would leave an ounce of really amazing shit in Scooby's dressing room, and leave this miniscule amount of shwag in mine.

YL: Really? They didn't treat you well?

S: Don't even start. They named the show after him, so he got pampered. I remember this one time...

YL: So how did you get along with the other cast members?

S: Fred and Daphne would always go off between takes and exchange fluids. Sometimes they would bring Velma with them, or even Scooby. But I was always left behind. Once Velma gave me a Coke, but it wasn't the same.

YL: By exchange fluids you mean...

S: I always wanted to make sweet love to Daphne...anally.

YL: ...that they...what?

S: Her swinging lifestyle always made my cock flaccid, however, and the best I could do was slap her face repeatedly. I grew to hate her girlish squeals and giggling.

YL: Interesting... You said that sometimes Scooby would accompany the others in their...er...fluid exchange?

S: Oh, yes. Even when Fred and Daphne weren't really in the mood to bonk the puppy, Velma was always ready and waiting. They had a child, you know...

YL: Oh, yeah? And I suppose that Scrappy was their progeny?

S: No, of course not. You don't get another canine when a troll and a canine share fruit. You get a werewolf. Everyone knows that.

YL: Was this child ever featured in an episode?

S: Naturally. They pulled his face off, though...

YL: Ah, yes. Of course. I think that I'll be leaving shortly. Any final words?

S: There are multitudes of problems associated with being the prettiest one...fortunately, I have none of them.