Jul

31

Primary 2010, part 1.

Filed Under Politics | 4 Comments

Received my ballot in the mail a couple of days ago. Huzzah! Disturbed and disappointed to learn that, since moving last year, I’ve apparently migrated from the Washington 3rd to the 9th. Disturbed, because I moved only a mile or so. Although I grasp the need to draw the line somewhere, I’m puzzled as to why I should cross lines when moving a short distance within the same municipality and within historically developed (i.e. pre-1997, when the 9th was established) areas of that municipality. Disappointed because, what with Brian Baird declining to run, and therefore no incumbent, I was interested to weigh in on the Heck, Castillo, etc. race that’s shaping up to be rather contentiously interesting and interestingly contentious.

Instead I get to weigh in on the reelection of Adam Smith, who apparently is going to cakewalk back into office. No offense to Mr. Smith, but I was hoping for an interesting race.

As always, I weed out candidates who cannot be bothered to generate a legitimate-looking campaign website for each position. So say goodbye to Norma D. Gruber, Goodspaceguy, William Edward Chovil, and Will Baker for Senate; Roy Olson for Congress; F.G. (Fred) Jensen for District No. 22 Representative; Glen Morgan for Thurston County Assessor; Ric Abbett for Thurston County Auditor; and Bill Pilkey for Thurston County Treasurer.

So for the U.S. Senate, that leaves a still-crowded field that includes Mohammad H. Said, Mike The Mover, Paul Akers, Mike Latimer, James (Skip) Mercer, Clint Didier, Schalk Leonard, Patty Murray, Bob Burr, Dino Rossi, Charles Allen, and Will Baker. Didier is out because refuses to come to terms with the fact that the irrigation system that makes much farming in Eastern Washington possible is subsidized by electricity ratepayers. And Akers is out partly because he’s bought into the “marriage is important” idea, and partly because he impractically supports across-the-board spending cuts. And anyway, Akers and Didier, by teaming up, have essentially telegraphed they aren’t interested in winning.

I think I explained adequately why the likes of Mohammad Said and Mike The Mover (seriously? a capitalized definite article?) way back in 2006 (see part 1 and 2) when these folks were running against Gregoire for the governorship. Mike Latimer lost me when he front-and-centers “under God” on his campaign site. James (Skip) Mercer’s support for ending natural-born citizenship (at least for those with undocumented parents) terrifies me (and his mid-90s web design blows ass). Charles Allen’s “illegal immigration…eliminates job opportunities for Americans” refrain is tired and false; ugh.

Although Bob Burr checks out on most issues, he appears to support publicly funded campaigns and limits on private money being used to fund political speech, which I cannot abide. As the candidates almost-certain to move on to the general, neither Patty Murray nor Dino Rossi needs my vote, and so will not be getting it.

I do like Schalk Leonard’s hostility toward (at least the dominant) political parties, his emphasis on the fundamental importance of employment, his live-and-let-live attitude towards homosexuality (despite the odd use of the word “preference”), his anti-war stance combined with his military service, and his belief in a return to a federalist society. I think that, notwithstanding his kooky ideas about health care as a right, Mr. Leonard is my candidate.

Jul

31

Yachting.

Filed Under Olympia | 2 Comments

Signed up for a sailing class with Olympia Parks & Recreation. Scheduled to begin this morning, and last for four sessions. Bite size, a welcome distraction, and perhaps an opportunity to either extinguish the sailing smolder early or set me up for an expensive hobby. Either way, win win.

Only apparently I was the only one who signed up for this particular class. And so the class was canceled. Of course, being Olympia, no one bothered to take down the class from the website. Or call me to let me know not to bother showing up with my newly purchased life preserver. Or post a notice on the building to let me know the class had been tossed aside.

So I suppose I’ll have to go with a private operation. More than double the money, but at least I’ll probably get on the water at some point.

Jul

29

JAPs.

Filed Under Language | Leave a Comment

When I was twelve, my family abruptly moved from San Ramon, California to South Orange, New Jersey. Leaving behind what were at the time a number of rather close friends, I resolved to keep in touch, with ultimately disappointing results. One way in which touch was kept was via the dominant communication device of the day: the touchtone telephone.

I recalled the other day a particular telephone call with a childhood friend, Matt Kolda. I had recently learned a new-to-me term at my Jewish-heavy middle school: JAP. Jewish American Princess. The California school I had attended was decidedly lacking in Jews. And although I knew Mr. Kolda had recently moved to a new school, I suspected the ethnic makeup was not radically different. And so I had good reason to expect I learned the term “JAP” before Mr. Kolda.

Showing off my superior knowledge backfired, however, for reasons that may already be apparent. See “JAP” sounds exactly like “Jap” over the telephone. And so when I absurdly asked, “do you have any JAPs in your new school? Because my new school is lousy with them,” he heard “do you have any Japs in your new school?” Japs, as a somewhat derogatory term for people of Japanese descent. Predictably, he got offended. And I had to explain, no, no, I’m not asking about Japanese-Americans…I’m asking about spoiled Ashkenazim…and inexplicably comparing them to lice…oops…I seem to have saved myself from one mildly offensive statement by diverting into a fairly deep river of offense. Ugh.

Lesson learned: be careful in how you go about sharing new words and concepts.

Jul

28

Whitney’s ghost?

Filed Under Music | 1 Comment

Apparently I missed the news that Whitney Houston died, then was reincarnated into an oddly round Chinese youth.

Jul

27

Amanda Palmer, Radiohead, and the almighty uke.

Filed Under Music | Leave a Comment

When I heard from former Dresden Doll Amanda Palmer’s fiance that she had released an EP–in an already-sold-out limited edition vinyl and a pay-what-you-can download–featuring her “magical ukelele” and a series of Radiohead covers, my interest was, needless to say, piqued. Does the album live up to expectations? Yes, in that Ms. Palmer is a fabulous vocalist, capable of imparting just the right amount of incoherent emotion into Thom Yorke’s lyrics. And the uke playing is quality. But I was disappointed to hear piano in some of the arrangements. Making this only my second favorite ukelele-and-vocals-centered cover album of all time.

Jul

25

One leg shorter than the other.

Filed Under Science & Technology | Leave a Comment

Watching Bringing Up Baby for the third or fourth time, I was caught off guard by a joke Katherine Hepburn tells when she breaks one heel about growing up on the side of a mountain.

Years ago, I saw a guy who had one leg shorter than the other. I don’t know what his actual story was, but one of the cleverer other children explained he must have grown up inbred on the side of a mountain. Ah, the youthful, crude understanding of genetics. See, the clever boy thought if a family lived on the side of a mountain, it might be helpful to have one leg shorter than the other, to aid in traversing the side of the mountain. Natural selection, and Bob’s your uncle. Only of course this doesn’t make a lick of sense. Even if evolution worked that fast, having one leg shorter than the other wouldn’t really be a desirable trait. Because not only do mountain dwellers have to go clockwise around the mountain, they also have to go up and down, and, more importantly, counterclockwise. But to my sugar-addled ten-year-old-first-learning-about-Darwin mind, this explanation made sense.

What surprised me is that this was a common enough misperception to have made it fodder for a mainstream movie gag. Any thoughts on why this might be? Given that, after only a cursory thought on the topic, it’s incoherence shines through?

Jul

23

Leon’s getting larger.

Filed Under Personal | 1 Comment

Apparently, a few nights ago when I was lying in bed, I started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of applying an Airplane quote to my greasy asshole. I gather “the plane is getting closer” signified the growing turmoil in my abdomen. And “Leon’s getting larger” represented the extent to which my balloon knot had dilated. I don’t recall much of this, having been more or less asleep at the time, but my wife assures me it was made all the more terrifying by the accompanying odors.

Jul

14

Now I really need to get around to reading Infinite Jest.

Filed Under Print Media | 2 Comments

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Jul

3

Lucinda Williams.

Filed Under Music | 3 Comments

Last time The Swell Season came to Western Washington, I missed out. Determined not to repeat, I bought tickets to this year’s No Depression Festival at Marymoor Park, where Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová are closing. But I grew interested in another act at the festival with whom I only had a passing familiarity: Lucinda Williams.

After sampling some of her work through the YouTube and checking out a couple of discs from the local library, I’m impressed by how familiar she sounds. Surprised, really. I’ve never really understood country and western music, what with its predictably irritating song structure and forcibly accented vocals. But somehow Lucinda transcends that for me. Part of the attraction is that she seems to have a similar jaunty fatalism as some of my other favorite female singers. Regina Spektor. Jenny Lewis. Norah Jones. But part of it is she’s got the same sort of assured “I’m a rock star, even though I’m not a rock star” attitude that is exhibited by the likes of John Darnielle or Eleanor Friedberger. Also, although I don’t usually go for bleach blondes, she’s sort of hot…especially when that whiskey-soaked groan is factored in. Looking forward to seeing her next month.