May

26

Buying a house.

Filed Under Olympia, Personal | 4 Comments

So D and I are shopping for a house. Well, we’re a little farther along than that. We’ve put in a bid for a specific house, had it countered, countered back, had it countered back, and countered back again, with an acceptance at the tail. Lovely. We’re inspecting on Friday.

The realtor we are using is a quality individual. Perhaps a bit chirpy and enamored with 60s architecture, but basically solid. Run-of-the-mill fifty-something Olympia-transplant lesbian. Backbone of the community. Recommended by us, recommended by others.

The realtor we started out with was, to put it bluntly, a disaster. We contacted her because a friend recommended her. She lost our number. We called back. She apologized for having lost our number and was on the case. She showed us a couple of houses, then went on vacation for a week. Six weeks later, we still haven’t heard from her. [A couple of days after she was scheduled to return, after an unreturned telephone call and email, we contacted the quality realtor we ended up using.] Today, we get a message from someone else in her office saying, essentially, “Plum apologizes for flaking so much and referred you to me, and I can help.” No offense to the guy to whom she referred us, but fuck you. If we actually needed help, as opposed to wanted help to better our position, I’d be really up shit’s creek without a paddle. Completely fucked. Because she is completely incompetent. Should not be licensed. Or hold herself out like she is. Message to professionals: if you’ve got something else going on in your life that would prevent you from acting in a professional manner, say so. Decline representation. To do otherwise is enormously awful, and worthy of vitriol.

Likely housewarming party in July.

May

25

Less-drunk urban hiking.

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In about a month, I’m going to be completing a half marathon. Well, let me clarify, because that makes it sound like I’m about to do something really impressive from a physical exertion standpoint, and I think we all are all well aware just how unlikely that is. No, what I’m doing is walking a half marathon. The Rock ‘n’ Roll Seattle half marathon, which has participants trekking thirteen plus miles on the streets of the Emerald City while listening every mile or so to a live band of some sort.

Although I originally planned on being drunk throughout–after all, the music ought to give the whole thing a certain party atmosphere, and I’m very interested in fucking with the smug runners by enjoying myself while destroying my body in a different way–after today’s “training” I’m less sure that’s a good idea. A little under ten miles in Olympia sort of kicked my ass, actually.

D and I walked from our house on the Eastside, across the isthmus, and up 4th from the first circle. The steep hill. Went through the Southwest neighborhood, down the trail to Percival Creek, over the footbridge, back up to that neighborhood over by the courthouse. Then went over to Cooper Point Road, across 101, and up Crosby. Left on Barnes. Up to the top of Tumwater Hill. Looked at a couple of model homes. Went down the other side of Tumwater Hill. Cut across on H. Back up 2nd to Custer. Across 5. Left on Capitol. Stopped at Safeway for a supposedly-chilled-but-actually lukewarm beverage. Through South Capitol. Up Jefferson. Over on Union. Back home. About nine and a half miles. And I don’t think I could have done it drunk. Which means I have a lot of training to do over the next few weeks. Or else I need to give up on my plan to flaunt my abilities in front of the deer and just get through the damned thing unscathed. Then get pissed afterward.

May

22

Jury duty.

Filed Under Law, Personal | Leave a Comment

For the first time in my life, I’ve been called for jury duty. Thurston Superior. Excited. Would love to see action from the other end of things. Although I strongly suspect I won’t be chosen for the jury simply on the basis of my occupation, I’m pleased just to be participating in the process. Feels like I may be on the verge of passing all the “citizenship” milestones, heralding my descent into crotchety old man. Marvelous.

May

21

Mr. Carter.

Filed Under Music | Leave a Comment

I suppose I’m a little late to the party in recognizing that Lil’ Wayne is fabulous. Well, perhaps not that late. I’ve enjoyed individual joints as they’ve received radio play. But I finally broke down and purchased something physical. Tha Carter III. I’m struck by how many tunes (e.g. “A Milli,” “Lollipop,” “Dr. Carter,” “Mrs. Officer”) are already old friends. But I’m also struck by how fucking badass “Mr. Carter” is. At least for those Jigga fans among us. I remember seeing the poster for a Lil’ Wayne album and discounting the coincidence. Carter is, after all, a fairly common last name. But playing on that coincidence? Awesome.

[Aside: Dr. Jeezy? Seriously?]

[Second aside: why don't more hip hop artists appear to be having fun?]

May

20

Girl.

Filed Under Film, Music | Leave a Comment

I recall getting really excited when viewing the preview for Across the Universe. Because, like the best music, it gives me that magical tingle on the top of my spine. Especially the “Girl” opening, with Jim Sturgess’s haunting vocals. However disappointed I ultimately was with Across the Universe–and I was profoundly disappointed, and still haven’t finished watching that piece of crap to date–I have to applaud any moving use of “Girl,” easily one of the best songs ever written. Observe:

May

19

Why am I still experiencing inclement weather?

Filed Under Science & Technology | Leave a Comment

A defining characteristic of civilization is the generation of mechanisms by which the civilized individual is able to avoid experiencing weather. A roof to keep out direct sun and direct rain. Walls to keep out wind. Blankets and fire to keep out cold. Air conditioning to keep out heat.

With that in mind, what I would like to know is when are we going to be civilized enough to not have to experience direct sunshine? Moving to cloud-covered areas can only go so far. Parasols continue to fail to be hands-free. When can I expect to get a sun-blocking friendly robot? I’ll give up the jet packs, moon pies, and thirty pound nano-fiber automobiles…if only I can finally get a floating disk that hovers in my vicinity, always creating a bit of shade.

May

18

Red Sox vs. Mariners.

Filed Under Personal | 3 Comments

After several years in the desert, and a lovely early supper at Teapot, on Saturday I attended a major league ball game and experienced the disappointingly dubbed but reasonably solid Safeco Field for the first time. [Seattle: you really ought to have looked to Baltimore for inspiration.] Being so long out of practice meant I was unfamiliar with nearly every player on both the Mariners and Red Sox ballclubs. Moreover, having arrived late–the tickets were accidentally left in Federal Way, a fact only discovered after we’d parked behind an industrial district McDonalds–I neglected to procure any sort of documentation. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the game. The beer was frothy. The double plays were numerous. The hits were just frequent enough to enhance the drama and dangle the possibility of an M’s late game resurgence, but not so frequent as to be completely ridiculous. Also, there appeared to be an uncanny number of Sox fans present. Especially children.

May

17

Bee! revisted.

Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

Although two incidents does not necessarily indicate a trend, I am nevertheless worried. A few nights after I was stung, D woke up screaming. This was unusual, and reasonably surprising. The loud statements about startling pain woke up me too. This was not surprising. But it was unwelcome. After a groggy search of the premises, nothing revealed itself. The less groggy search that followed, however, did yield another bee. Similar to the first sort. Inside the pillowcase. He’s dead now.

May

16

Drunk urban hiking.

Filed Under Personal | 2 Comments

The first rule of drunk urban hiking is you do not talk about drunk urban hiking. The second rule of drunk urban hiking abrogates the first rule significantly, by specifically recommending Rockport wingtips and Ben Folds Five single-word-titled whiners–”Brick” or “Mess”–sans piano. The third rule of drunk urban hiking reinstates the first rule with exceptions; the exceptions invariably involve empty plastic beer pitchers. The fourth rule of drunk urban hiking undermines the third rule by demanding a serpentine trajectory. The fifth rule of drunk urban hiking does not exist. The sixth rule of drunk urban hiking modifies the prime rules with ineffective cellular technology.

Any questions?

May

10

Motherlover.

Filed Under Humor | 3 Comments

In the continuing genius that is the union of Andy Samberg Justin Timberlake behold “Motherlover,” which ponders how to make Mother’s Day truly special.

I like the idea of the same person being your step-son and step-father. I also like the idea of JT and Susan Sarandon.

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