Apr
30
Client calling.
Filed Under Law, Personal | 3 Comments
When it comes to most things work related, I’m a pretty cool customer. I can let the “public pretender” or “you’re working for the county, so you don’t have my interests at heart” charges roll off my back, no problem. I’m absurdly patient with the crazies and the stupids alike. [The clerks actually joke that the crazies get appointed to me disproportionately precisely because I can take their craziness. At least I think they're joking.] Occasionally, I get a client that is an asshole to such a degree, that I find it hard to cope. But even then, I’m able to convince him he’s an asshole.
Recently, though, I think I was appointed my worst client to date. Yes, even worse than the couple who filed frivolous bar complaints, appealed the summary dismissals, and bitched about the summary appellate dismissals. Even worse than the gentleman who adamantly refused to go to trial, but also adamantly refused to take anything approaching a plea offer, including an amendment to an infraction offer, because he refused to believe he was guilty of a crime with which he was not charged, and wouldn’t contemplate whether he was guilty of the crime with which he was charged.
What makes this client take the cake? It isn’t just that she’s extremely rude and condescending. It isn’t just that she willfully fails to acknowledge many important things I tell her (e.g. some Washington State Patrol vehicles are not equipped with video cameras, the DUI statute does not require a .08 BAC, the DUI statute applies to drugs as well as alcohol). It isn’t just that she repeats herself ad nauseum, especially regarding irrelevant matters. It isn’t just that she misses appointments. No, it’s because she’s the first client I’ve had who called me at home.
Yes, a public defender client looked up my (common) name in the white pages. It’s a publicly listed number, so I suppose I’m partly at fault. And some attorneys do use residential numbers for their practices. So at first, I thought, well maybe she thought this was my practice. But then I realized (1) she knew I work for a firm, also with a listed number, and (2) it’s pretty obvious from my answering machine message that it’s a residential number. There is no possible way she could have thought this was okay.
So do I ask the court to let me withdraw over this? Or do I chew her out? Advice?
Apr
27
Had a barbecue of sorts last Saturday before D and several others processed through downtown Olympia in costume. The group, pictured below, got lumped in with fire because the online registration didn’t work, and fire needed more participants. The Procession was an amusing diversion overall, but I could have done with less water. And more commercialism.

But aren’t D’s homemade flowers pretty?
Apr
26
Yes, I think everyone is pleased that Arizona v. Gant clarified that the generic “search incident to arrest” exception to the “no warrantless searches” mandate of the Fourth Amendment isn’t as broad as all that. And I think we’re all pleased that at least one of the nine (bless you, Nino) recognized that Chimel’s “grabbing area” concept will never come up in the automobile context without either (1) pretext, or (2) absurdly dangerous behavior on the part of law enforcement. [Seriously, are there any cops out there volunteering to reach over the lap of the seated driver to root around under the passenger seat looking for weapons?]
But Gant seems to have gone farther. In addition to saying Chimel applies, it also carves out an exception for searches of motor vehicles incident to arrest where “it is ‘reasonable to believe evidence relevant to the crime of arrest might be found in the vehicle.’ ” Arizona v. Gant, No. 07-542, slip op. at *10 (decided 4/21/09). So if I’m arresting you for possession of marijuana, I get to search the vehicle for more marijuana. And if I happen to find cocaine, a felon-possessed firearm, or eight heads in a duffel bag while searching for cannabis, that’s okay.
Can someone please reassure me that contrary to appearances, Gant didn’t cite as its sole authority for this exception a Scalia concurrence from a 2004 case? Seriously, is it possible Scalia singlehandedly made up a new exception to a Constitutional mandate in Thornton, only to have it become law five short years later? A drive-by shooting of the Fourth Amendment justified on the basis that, well, it is already so riddled with exceptions, what’s another hole? Frankly, I could stand to see a judiciary with a insanely suspicious wife-beating style jealously now and then, rather than this modern shoulder-shrugging, rubber-in-marriage wearing sort of jealously that appears to be guarding the Bill of Rights as of late.
Apr
26
Toaster.
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment
Reading a piece in the AV Club entitled “Films that made us cry” on Friday. Took a screenshot toward the end:

Note the last word of the last sentence of Scott Tobais’s response and the Onion store advertisement. Lovely, no?
Apr
19
Master of Reality.
Filed Under Music, Print Media | 1 Comment
I have never been a diehard Black Sabbath fan. By the time I became interested in popular music, Ozzy had already become a living joke, and had yet to capitalize on that fact with reality television. Yes, during high school, like many people, I listened the shit out of a handful of harder guitar-driven early 70s British albums, like Led Zeppelin III, Machine Head, Dark Side of the Moon and, yes, Paranoid. But I never embraced Black Sabbath like some people I know.
Which is why you might find it odd that I would have picked up a book about Master of Reality. Well, “about” is sort of loose. It’s a work of fiction about a fucked up youth who really got into Sabbath in general, and Master of Reality in particular. It’s a pretty good book, actually. A little short, perhaps. And a little too first person. But being authored by John Darnielle, what else could I have expected?
Now here’s my conundrum: I’ve long since moved passed the stage in my life where it would make sense to become a Sabbath fan. But I’m also intrigued by the book’s description of the album. Do I take the plunge, risk being disappointed and thereby color my impression of the book, and buy the album? Is it worth it?
Apr
14
Twilight.
Filed Under Print Media | 1 Comment
Read Twilight recently. Enjoyed rather much. Because, at my core I am a twelve year old girl.
But as a Cascadian, I had a couple of quibbles. Although on reflection, they not only seem petty, they also seem explicable. But I’m going to share them anyway.
I’m reasonably certain people living in and around Forks do not refer to 101 as “the 101.” Although I’m well aware people in other parts of the country put a definite article before their highway route numbers. Also, I’m reasonably sure even a non-native sort like Bella would put Olympia near the top of the list of “cities sort of near Forks with many quality bookstores.” Seattle makes sense. Olympia, less so. Finally, for anyone that has lived ’round these parts, the existence of thunderstorms is, well, open for debate. So the whole baseball thing threw me for a loop.
Apr
12
Nacho Vigalondo.
Filed Under Film | Leave a Comment
Should I gush and declare my love for Nacho Vigalondo, what with having enjoyed one of his films rather a lot? Perhaps. But instead I think I’ll merely suggest he’s got some talent. And urge y’all to see the unfortunately titled Timecrimes. Ranks up there with Terminator with superbly crafted and entertainingly entertaining time travel movies. And up there with Primer in terms of economy. And after you’ve done that, may I suggest you see the lovely song-and-dance short 7:35 in the Morning. Actually, you might want to see the latter first, just to whet your whistle.
Apr
10
Do-Ra-Mi as guerrilla dance?
Filed Under Uncategorized | 3 Comments
Is this dance routine in a Belgian train station staged? Or it a true guerrilla dance routine, set to a deliciously familiar Julie Andrews number? No matter. It’s pretty lovely, regardless. Even if it does have a crappy Euro-dance overlay muddying up the second half.
Apr
8
Swedish French bread.
Filed Under Food & Drink | 3 Comments
D and I bought a bread machine a little while back. After attempting to get the recipes that accompanied the machine to work, we broke down and purchased a cookbook. One of the things we have learned by reading said cookbook is that the grocery store staple dubbed “French bread,” heretofore explained away as the product of a deranged mind at Safeway headquarters, actually has a slightly more satisfying explanation.
The cookbook has a recipe for “Franskbrod.” Well, I’m spelling that wrong. The “o” ought to be replaced with the “o” with a forward slash through it. In any event, the cookbook describes “Franskbrod” as “the most prevalent white bread in all of Scandinavia. It translates to ‘French bread.’ ” We tried making this bread and, well, it turns out that it is exactly the same sort of dry-tasting awful as the grocery store “French” breads.
Now the mystery has shifted to (1) why so many people keep buying “French bread” from grocery store bakeries, despite its terribleness, and (2) why the Swedish insist upon calling a standard white bread “French,” with all evidence to the contrary. Thoughts?
Apr
5
Plug-in lawnmower.
Filed Under Personal | Leave a Comment
I would very much like to cut off the hands of the individual who decided to sell my landlord a plug-in–as opposed to gas-, battery-, or human-powered–lawnmower. Or at least get him to explain to her that the power cord gets in the fucking way when you’re pushing the damned thing around the yard, what with its bulk and its spinning blades. Fuck.
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