Jan

31

Manipulating the media.

Filed Under Broadcast Media | Leave a Comment

After a long day of doing actual work, I sat down yesterday to draft a terrible press release. Today, after a couple of coworkers added additional fingerprints and faxed it to a variety of media outlets, results, a mere nineteen hours from inspiration to fruition.

Jan

30

800-pound gorilla?

Filed Under Language | 4 Comments

Anyone know the origin of the phrase “800-pound gorilla”? As in, “Where does an 800-pound gorilla sit? Anywhere he wants.” Or “no one wants to talk about [peak oil; decaying infrastructure; inferior science education and dropping education standards in the U.S.], the 800-pound gorilla in the [energy policy; economic growth; technological dominance of the U.S.] room.” Remarkably, although this is precisely the sort of question the Internet should have made easy to answer, I have not yet been able to glean an explanation, despite investing minutes and minutes of searching into the problem.

Jan

30

Two parties.

Filed Under Politics | 1 Comment

The dominance of the two-party system in this country is rooted in the winner-takes-all set-up, in contrast to the parliamentarian proportional bullshit. Of course it is exacerbated by the way in which the presumption of two parties is built into the laws (e.g. in most states, the Democratic and Republican Parties’ primaries are publicly funded; the Libertarian Party’s primary is not; the pecking order in most legislative bodies is determined by the “majority” and “minority” leadership, rather than the “minority #1,” “minority #2,” “minority #3,” etc. leadership, or the members of the legislative body itself). And momentum.

The momentum is sort of an interesting phenomenon. 20% of registered voters will vote for the Democratic candidate nearly all of the time. And 20% will vote for the Republican candidate. Another 20% each will vote against the Democratic and Republican candidates. And because of a lack of imagination and viable alternatives, most of those votes go to the Republicans and Democrats, respectively. That leaves only one fifth of the voting public in the “independent” category. Which really only means that instead of nearly all of the time, only most of the time does party affiliation determine their vote. Or, to put it more accurately, the party to whom a candidate belongs is, for most independents, the default decisionmaking quality, but that the independent voter, unlike other voters, will actually look for other factors.

Is the two party dominance a problem? Probably. Any time a group of people get a leg up for silly, dated reasons, it leads to complacency, graft, and all-around bad feelings.

Solution? An easy one is to treat a candidate’s political party membership the same as you would his social organization membership. If a candidate is a member of the Eagles, Moose, or Rotary, he can tell everyone (I think), can get the organization itself to endorse him if it wishes. But it doesn’t have any impact on the ballot, by marking his name with a little “D” or “R,” by making his getting on the ballot easier than other candidates, or by getting his campaign paid for on a different basis than other candidates. And it doesn’t guarantee him plum legislative committee appointments should he be elected, or create an inevitable affinity that creates the dangerous temptation of mutual back-scratching.

Jan

28

Channel 101 Roundup (January 2008).

Filed Under Channel 101 | 9 Comments

After a lengthy hiatus, the Channel 101 primetime needed to be topped by something stupid, obvious, and devastatingly effective. It got it, with “2 Girls, 1 Cup: The Show,” which combines a puppet, attractive women, a disturbing pop culture phenomenon, and the annoying voice of Justin Roiland to make a fairly watchable program. The expected creep toward yet another “discrimination is wrong” moral over the series’ life is less than welcome. The expectation of more awkward pauses, however, leaves me quivering with anticipation. B+

Another newcomer, “The Bed & Breakfast Club,” was somewhat less effective. The opening credits notwithstanding, I wasn’t entirely clear much of the time which character corresponded to which Breakfast Club character. Willy Roberts in particular completely failed to convincingly channel Emilio Estevez’s Andrew Clark in any respect other than costuming. Tip for a subsequent episode: have Willy get out of the wheelchair and dance spastically and terribly. Also, not entirely clear on the premise. Didn’t St. Elmo’s Fire preclude this sort of thing? C-

Now in its sixth episode, “Stop It” is again laden with sadness. This outing manages to elicit a giggle or two (e.g. Mike Rose’s Alma’s pronunciation of “Whole Foods,” Norma’s twice insisting that she is “a professional”). But its true value is that, although absurd to treat “cooking too much food” as an addiction, and although ridiculous to treat addiction as Dr. Gliza does, there is a strong emotional core to each episode. Also, Mr. Rose seems to attempt to be the least incestuous of the current crop of 101s, regularly introducing new faces. A-

“Groove Fighters” keeps chugging along with a style all its own. The “don’t sell out” moral of the latest installment is a little odd, but provides a tasty antagonist. Some of the new “theme” dancers were quite amusing. The decision to push Ryan Ridley’s Joey Youngblood to the fore may be a good move, especially if motivated by an ensemblization, rather than Fonzie-ization, trend. However, I ultimately am unsatisfied by this program because (1) the music isn’t to my liking, and (2) the dancing isn’t to my liking. C+

Mike Rose’s mustache alone makes “Return to Supermans” #2 worthy of a primetime berth. Supermen using the ripped-off-arm-with-gun as a firearm, the literal way in which the “heart of goodness” is portrayed, the odd way in which an individual is able to ascend to the American Presidency…these make me wonder how something as perfectly executed as this placed fifth. A

John Wayne appeared not only in “Return to Supermans” this month, but also in the inexplicably cancelled “The Forgotten Classics.” Featuring a never-finished western, taking liberally from The Searchers and, well, Silverado, there is a steady decline in production values from start to finish that produced a few chuckles. True, the gimmick is essentially one-note (with the exception of host Jeff Davis’s few good lines); but what a gimmick! B+

The sermonizing and sappiness of the “Cautionary Tales of Swords” finale sucked balls. D

Failed pilot “Temple of the Bone” charmed with its low-rent effects, its promising premise of irreverent-convicted-felon-turned-tomb-raider, its “Metalocalypse” riffing, and its truly touching ending. B-

The thing that bothered me most about deservedly failed pilot “The Shitty Nigerian Writer“–and I know this makes me petty–is that it portrayed both Nigeria and Uganda as arid and full of Arabs. Admittedly, I did enjoy the musical numbers. Shame about the lack of humor, though. C-

The temporarily-back-from-the-dead eleventh episode of “Yacht Rock” cribbed from the years-old advertisements for the failed Fox program, “That 80’s Show.” Bravo! But seriously, Jimmy Buffett is properly described as “mellow, but not smooth, kinda shitty.” Kevin Bacon is pleasantly introduced as somewhat unhinged and obsessed with his own name. And reimagining “Footloose” as a murderous anthem sort of made my day. B+

Jan

28

Mars, Venus, Pshaw.

Filed Under Broadcast Media, Food & Drink, Personal, Wedding | 2 Comments

The weekend past was filled with what were, for me, extremely masculine activities, including:

The weekend also included several feminine activities, such as:

I somehow doubt I’m one of the unusual males with a male daemon.

Jan

25

Friskies Country Style Dinner.

Filed Under Food & Drink | 4 Comments

For a number of years, Cooper was perfectly content to eat the Purina DM dry food we gave her. After moving to Seattle in 2006, however, the pickiness of old age set in, and she issued a wet food decree. After spending tens of dollars trying out various gourmet organic all-meat products, we found the wet food she most preferred was the low-rent Friskies cans. And, within Friskies’ admirably diverse selection, she preferred the mushier alternatives to the chunkier ones. Out was Tender Cuts with Ocean Whitefish Sauce; in was Mariner’s Catch, perhaps as a half-hearted attempt to support a local sports team.

Indeed, even within the “loaf” varieties, Cooper preferred the ones that were vague on what sort of animals were dropped into a chipper shredder, mixed with sawdust, and tinned for the apocolypse. Cans bearing labels like Chicken & Tuna Dinner were less well received than Mixed Grill or, her favorite, Country Style Dinner.

My theory about Country Style Dinner, which identifies its primary ingredient as “meat by-products,” is that it is composed primarily of discarded circus animals. And before you get all down on Friskies for false labeling, I’ll explain how that’s perfectly consistent with the “Country Style” label.

Young children are sometimes told by their parents that their beloved dog, Rover, went to go live on a farm in the country where he’d have plenty of room to play, chase rabbits, and generally live a much more fulfilling life than he would have had he continued to be cooped up in an apartment. The parents do this to avoid discussing death, which is exactly what happened to Rover. Circus animal handlers, especially in the less-reputable circuses, are notoriously child-like in mentality. So rather than have the awkwardness of trying to explain to Duane the Animal Handler and Certified Moron about how life doesn’t last forever, Mr. Big Top lies and says that Trunky the Elephant, Bitey the Lion, and Strangler the Python went to live on a farm in the country, where they’ll have plenty of trees to strip bare, zebra to chase, and rats to devour. If Duane starts to doubt the truth of Mr. Big Top’s lie, Mr. Big Top can supplement by explaining that the country farm is in Texas, where the crazy land rich often have a host of African Savannah animals roaming around, conveniently leaving out the part of about those crazy land rich individual’s predilection for hunting.

Which makes Friskies Country Style Dinner as a name not so much false as a clever in-joke. And it makes Cooper’s preference for Country Style Dinner, with its chipper shredded elephant, lion, and python ingredients, further evidence that house cats really are at the top of the food chain.

Jan

23

Tom Cruise.

Filed Under Religion | 3 Comments

What struck me most about the Tom Cruise video that everyone has giggling at as he shills for Scientology is that if you replace a few of the Scientology-related terminology with the terminology of other religions, the net level of crazy religious fervor is not diminished. Which is not to say Tom Cruise isn’t nuts. Rather, it is to suggest Tom Cruise at the end of the day isn’t any more nuts than most religious folks.

Jan

23

Disqualifying politicians.

Filed Under Politics | Leave a Comment

In response to Freddy-boy’s demise, C.E. Petit chimed in with a charming and moderately useful qualifying question re electability: whether a candidate is willing or able to learn from others with views that diverge from the candidate’s. I’ve decided to add my own to the pyre: does the candidate believe in the inevitability–as distinguished from regrettable necessity–of war.

Jan

21

“The Negro’s Legitimate Discontent.”

Filed Under Politics | 1 Comment

Drove around Tumwater with my camera, listening to NPR’s King Day broadcast. The result is definitely “art” in the Monkey Throw Feces sense.

Jan

21

Cross-country skiing.

Filed Under Personal | 2 Comments

After somewhat regularly going to the gym over the past half-month, I decided it was time to try something involving physical activity and the outdoors. Luckily, D’s good friend E, who works at Mount Rainier National Park, had the equipment, know-how, and location-scouting abilities to make a cross-country skiing expedition happen on short notice. The results look silly, and the falling-down bruises are not as non-existent as we had hoped, but we’re confident the soreness in those seldom-used near-groin muscles will fade with time, and we’ll end up back in the snow shortly. Perhaps as soon as early February.

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