Aug

28

Channel 101 Roundup (August 2007).

Filed Under Channel 101 | 4 Comments

The producers of “Cautionary Tales of Swords” had to do something to keep the program from going stale. Choosing to morph it into yet another silly vigilante program? Not sure that was the right choice. C

“Astro-Nots,” a.k.a. “Reporters in Space” replaces Justin Roiland and Kelsy Abbott with Mike McCafferty and Ben Pluimer. Why do I dub it thus? Because Vatche Panos is back with his amusingly stoned flubbed lines, and the program is terrible and nonsensical in exactly the same way as the blessedly deceased “Reporters.” D

The third episode of “Stop It” is surprisingly moving, as well as unsurprisingly absurd. The decision to downplay Mr. Spiers’s Stop It Counselor this month worked well, especially in light of the welcome Dan Harmon cameo, and the strong supporting roles of the family. Way to cast age-appropriately, Mr. Rose. A-

Am I wrong for getting a stiffy when Julia Stiles makes with the static-filled lines in the latest edition of “Murder Town.” Am I wrong for falling to pieces when another “song” and “dance” slaps me in my noggin’? Am I off my rocker for eating up the contempt for the audience with a vomit covered spoon? Oh, yeah. B+

In a desperate attempt to curry favor, vigilante cliche program number four thousand eight hundred twenty one, a.k.a. “The Lone Wolf” debuts in fifth place by referencing Memento by way of “Lenny.” The oddly nudist pants of Kicking Bully during the big fight scene disturbed. Matt Peters impresses in the titular role. But fence-sitting is an art, and I’m cultivating my craft. B-

“Oh, I can smell it. It smells like 9/11.” The second and final episode of “Not Without My Country” went out on a high note, albeit with a reverse topper structure. Ah, shit jokes. B

Aug

27

Protest.

Filed Under Personal, Politics | 1 Comment

Took the afternoon off work to stand around Bellevue at a protest. The President was in town, shilling for a local Republican Congressman in a swing district. Signs read “AL-QAEDA FOR BUSH” and similar. The group I went with posed as Al-Qaeda members and explained how we hadn’t missed a recruiting goal since 2001, and shouted “death to America, four more years.” It was fun.

Aug

25

“Wizard People, Dear Reader.”

Filed Under Film, Humor | Leave a Comment

“Harry notices he leaves with the face of a leaving father, a father that leaves forever, if you know what I mean.” I believe I got more giggles per minute from Brad Neely’s “Wizard People, Dear Reader” than every other unauthorized DVD commentary tracks I have heretofore listened to. And that includes the relatively humorous unauthorized DVD commentary tracks put together by Mike Nelson and company over at RiffTrax. I especially dug on reimagining Snape as an overly theatrical woman. You may as well.

[From I Let My Fists Do The Talkin'.]

Aug

24

Neg1 unconstitutional?

Filed Under Law | 1 Comment

After looking closer at Washington’s Negligent Driving in the First Degree statute, I’m convinced the legislature built in an unconstitutional burden shift. The statutory definition requires that the defendant “exhibit[] the effects of having consumed…an illegal drug.” “Illegal drug” is defined as “a controlled substance” or “a legend drug” “for which the driver does not have a valid prescription or that is not being consumed in accordance with the prescription directions and warnings.” The State ought to have the burden of proving beyond a reasonable doubt either that the defendant did not have a prescription, or was not using the drug in conformity with the prescription.

However, the Washington legislature, in RCW 46.61.5249(1)(b) places the burden on the defendant to prove, by a preponderance of the evidence, that he does have a valid prescription and that he is following the directions. Boo-urns!

Aug

23

Judges are lawyers too.

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When writing a corpus motion a few weeks back, I noticed the probable cause statement contained the following sentence (paraphrased, but containing the exact phrasing for the instant purposes, with italicized emphases added for clarity): “The individual [who heard the collision] said he saw someone walking from the van, but that he couldn’t identify them.” As a firm believer in the unacceptability of “them” as a singular third person neuter, I of course took this to mean the witness in question was confused about the number of persons he saw walking away. As a long time resident of the United States of America between 1979 and 2007, I am well aware of the language drift that has taken place. Hell, I wrote a news satire piece on the subject a couple of years back. Wanting my motion to pass the laugh test, I declined to include the “confused numerosity” argument.

Fast forward to yesterday’s hearing, wherein oral argument on my motion, and the State’s response, were heard. The judge, in deciding in my favor, and dismissing the charges against my client, brought up the confused numerosity argument. With a straight face, no less. To be sure, she clarified her decision was in large part the result of the Trooper’s failure to appear, subpoena notwithstanding, to clarify certain aspects of his report. I cannot imagine a possible universe in which the Trooper in question would have failed to clarify that the “them” in the above-quoted sentence meant “him,” had he shown up. And that may well have decided the matter; the judge did make a point of emphasizing how close a call the question was. Thing is, the fact that she picked up on the very same spurious argument, based on a willful misunderstanding of how the language has developed in favor of a more traditional approach to grammar, it really brought home the fact that judges are lawyers too.

Aug

22

Overtime.

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For some reason, work has been running long this week. Today’s one-in-the-afternoon interpreter calendar did not get over until nearly seven. Yesterday’s nine-thirty finished up around four. Nearly double the usual duration. What gives?

Aug

19

Weekend update.

Filed Under Personal | 5 Comments

Blueberry picking at an organic u-pick. More jam is forthcoming. As well as a pie, perhaps.

Song selection by keyword. “Jesus” yielded Modest Mouse’s “Jesus Christ Was an Only Child,” Sun Kil Moon’s cover of the same song, two versions of Wilco’s “Jesus, Etc.,” Iron & Wine’s “Jesus the Mexican Boy,” a live recording of Gov’t Mule covering “Jesus Left Chicago,” The Flaming Lips version of “Plastic Jesus,” Beulah’s “Me and Jesus Don’t Talk Anymore,” and several others. “Kid” resulted in Anal Cunt’s “Your Kid Is Deformed,” a Cold War Kids song, The Evolutionary Control Committee’s “Costello Kids in the Neighborhood,” a bunch of Kid Koala tracks, a live version of moe.’s “Kids,” The New Pornographers’ “Ballad of the Comeback Kid,” Pavement’s “Silent Kid,” and others. Neat, no?

Yesterday involved a Tacoma run to visit The Girl and The Boy for some non-Chinese in Proctor, a frozen desert product at Frisko Freeze, an early evening showing of Stardust, and a Guinness back at the soon-to-be-vacated Cheyenne Street apartment. To think that may have been the last time D and I braved those rickety wooden stairs.

Also, yesterday contained a hike along the Ellis Cove Trail at Priest Point. And a blister.

Aug

17

Amy Jennings.

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I’m still not sure I like the de-stripped-down sound of Haughty Melodic, as opposed to, say, Smofe + Smang. But I have to say that I’m in favor of Amy Jennings’ backing vocals. Because she sings all purty, just like Kelly Willis.

Aug

17

Cakey!

Filed Under Channel 101 | 2 Comments

Rejoice, for Cakey is returning.

Aug

17

Guitar.

Filed Under Music, Personal | 1 Comment

Off-and-on over the years, I’ve attempted to play one of two acoustic guitars I own. I’ve never even been passable. See e.g. my contribution to Salon’s Song Search contest. After being told several times by several individuals, including a guitar teacher, I’ve finally come to accept at least a partial explanation (other than the obvious laziness and lack of innate talent) for my continuing lack of ability to play: the guitars I’ve tried to play are not designed for barre chords. The reason? The shape of the neck. Specifically, its flatness. Most of the sorts of songs I’d like to be able to play–at least the simple ones–are much easier to play if multiple strings can be depressed simultaneously by the same finger. The standard cheap electric guitars have a curved neck to help this along. Unfortunately, my guitars are designed for individual notes.

So, should I get another guitar and give it another try? Or should I say fuck it and buy a piano?

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