Mar

31

Channel 102 Roundup.

Filed Under Channel 101 | 2 Comments

Channel 102 took an extra day or so to put up the March entries. I, in turn, took an extra couple of days to get around to watching. Call me lazy, call me busy, just don’t call me late for dinner.

“‘Cause what we found is that the same guys who were coming in here looking for porn…also like karate.” An amazing debut took the number one spot this month: “Video Schmideo.” Imagine Christopher Guest deciding to tackle the adult bookstore industry for his next film. Imagine the focus moving from the ensemble to a single character, the owner of the “Spanish Popeye.” Then imagine Guest bailing on the project and it being retooled as a five minute short. And you’ve got something approaching what “Video Schmideo” accomplishes. More belly laughs caused by Ali Farahnakian’s delivery in the first episode than the entire run of most 101 or 102 series. Bravo!

The sixth episode of “Defenders of Stan” is also extremely amusing this month. Using a Bizarro plot, featuring a lovely “did you just ‘ma’am’ me?” routine, including a happy-making discussion of the finer points of “Gilmore Girls,” and making constructive use of a gin bottle, “Stan” just keeps getting better.

“The Man Who Loved Lesbians” improves in its second episode by pilfering from an early episode of “The L Word.” Given how few episodes of “The L Word” featured men, however, I’m not sure how much longer Sarah Yorra and Michael Jaffe can keep this up.

Although the latest installment of “The Jon and Jess Variety Hour” is a comparatively weak, at least I got my robot fix for the month. Shame about the musical number, though.

“Damn it woman, you literally scared the shit out of me. Sorry about the sheets.” Newcomer “The F.N.G.R.” continues the recent trend of initialed program titles. Although it contains several amusing moments, and has an absurdly workable premise (think “Knight Rider,” but with a middle finger in lieu of a car), “The F.N.G.R.” just didn’t do it for me. Eh.

Mar

27

Channel 101 Roundup.

Filed Under Channel 101 | 1 Comment

“Classroom” received top honors for the second straight month. The corny and cliched use of the time travel plot device somehow worked quite well. The three other assassins were well-cast: each exuded a certain communist swarthy menace. The words “malarky” and “crafted” were well-placed. Still largely missing? The funny. But I’ve come to expect an absence of chuckles from “Classroom,” and have decided to focus on its better qualities. Like story. And (with the exception of Justin Roiland) professionalism.

“Planet Unicorn” came in at number two again. Clocking at a brief-for-101 three minutes, I can only assume an Acceptable TV influence. Shame the episode still feels overlong. Some programs reward repeat viewing by including far more jokes, sight gags, witticisms, and humorous observations than can be comfortably picked up the first time around. Others, like “Planet Unicorn,” provide the same handful of chuckles again and again, making sure viewers noticed. Which wouldn’t be so bad if any of the chuckles actually worked. Ugh.

The sixth episode of “Your Magic Touched Me Nights” uses recursion and period-specific tunes to deliver a particularly solid entry. The half-assed slap that saved Esposito was a classic Shizuki moment. Bravo.

What is it with Dan Harmon and wanting to make increasingly short and shitty shows within shows? With “Exposure,” though, at least there was some semblance of a coherent wrap around. With newcomer “ChooseYourOwn SelectAVision.TV,” Harmon and J.D. Ryznar spooge three truly terrible very short clips, make yet another “vote for me” contest, and explain the contest, all within the confines of the usual Channel 101 five minutes. The awkwardness and stupidness of the idea almost saves it, though. Almost.

I’m having difficulty deciding whether episode three of “Reporters” is an improvement over its predecessors. On the one hand, the effects went around the far side of bad to come out good. On the other, the humor was, if anything, even more lacking. On the one hand, the episode’s leads did not appear to be drunk. On the other, the leads appeared to be pretending to be drunk as they thought up their terrible ad libs. Ultimately, I’m not really that interested in looking for slight variations in the quality of shit.

And, finally, let’s shed a tear for the dearly departed “Quest.” In a glorious 12-minute epic self-cancellation, Mike McCafferty employs a number of fake-outs, a number of false endings, a “Battlestar Galactica” reference, the series’ tendency to self-deprecate, a newfound willingness to reference the 101 process, and a door left open for possible sequels. Huzzah! Only complaint: it should have been Diet Shasta Grapefruit Soda, not Root Beer.

Mar

25

Aging and muzak.

Filed Under Music, Personal | 4 Comments

While I’m sure I’ll ultimately encounter more significant and jarring mile markers as part of the aging process, last Thursday’s visit to Safeway brought with it a somewhat unpleasant experience. While making sure the milk wasn’t expired, the Gin Blossoms’ “Hey Jealousy” came over the store’s speakers. As I was searching for garbage bags, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” started playing. Both times, I’m embarrassed to say, I sort of sang along for a few seconds before catching myself. The reason muzak is so successful? Those songs from high school really are scarred on your brain. And as the scars get picked at by another spin of those records, you get stupid and willing to spend money indiscriminately.

Mar

24

Bitter Lake Bitter.

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Making beer today. Using a recipe provided by a homebrew supply store located rather near my old apartment. Recipe is for a traditional English bitter. Named “Bitter Lake Bitter,” after nearby Bitter Lake, presumably. Tasty.

Mar

22

Client’s attire.

Filed Under Personal | 9 Comments

Received comments, while on my lunch break, from several male clients regarding a female client’s wardrobe choices. Received a few more from the clerks. Had my client’s attire specifically addressed by the judge on open court. And had the prosecutor bring an unnoticed nip slip to my attention that apparently followed the judge’s comments. Nip slip on the record? Does this count as a good day?

Mar

17

Bob’s Java Jive.

Filed Under Personal | 2 Comments

A, D & I decided to experience Bob’s Java Jive last night. Under the facade of a giant teapot, the Java Jive serves shitty beer and shitty food, and features some of the craziest, diviest artwork this side of old Vegas. Example: leopard print wrapping paper border above a stained mirror. Another example: racist-or-old-timiny? native tribesman (from Java?) threatening would-be washroom users. Another example: a pirate ship painted directly to the wall. Another example: a faux fireplace with wiring hanging out.

The place definitely has been a dive for decades. It has the air (and stench) of a former smoker’s paradise. It doesn’t even bother patching the pleather seats anymore. Its jukebox’s newest addition was an early 90s Janet Jackson single, but the general theme of the place’s musical tendencies lies somewhere between Neil Diamond and Bachman Turner Overdrive. The menu was deliciously disturbing, clearly designed to require as few trips to the grocery store as possible. And the menu fittingly featured an off-brand antacid for $1.50.

The weirdest thing, though? The clientele. Or lack thereof. For the dinner rush (we arrived at 6:45), we were the sole patrons. And the “do you want a clean glass, your majesty” bartender seemed surprised to see us. At around 7:30, a trio of (we suspect) music promoters entered and inquired about the Jive’s live music options. The two gentleman we actually saw (the female of the group stayed in the front the whole time, sipping merlot) did not seem impressed with the Jive. But we were. Sort of.

Mar

14

Hobo with a Shotgun.

Filed Under Film | 2 Comments

Wanna see something totally rad? Watch the following trailer:

[From Jeff.]

Mar

11

Jury trials.

Filed Under Law, Personal | 5 Comments

Got three jury trials coming up within the next two weeks. Can you say busy?

Mar

3

Channel 101 Roundup.

Filed Under Channel 101 | 4 Comments

For those of you who haven’t noticed, last month’s Roundup ended up being officially sanctioned by Channel 101. I find the whole prospect of an official critic a bit odd, and found the unrequested gank by the 101 staff a little disconcerting. But traffic is traffic. Welcome, new readers.

“Classroom,” now in its eleventh episode, tops this month’s primetime. Again, the laughs depend upon finding affected voices and cross dressing amusing. And again, the gags fall flat. While it is commendable that Mr. Spiers continues to mine after school specials and find a different plot each time, it would be more commendable if, in writing the episodes, something funny or fresh would make an appearance.

Another Spiers/Rose production, “Planet Unicorn,” debuted in second place. Eh. The theme song, the audio effects, the animation, and even the set-up are nice. The show’s habit of over-explaining the premise instead of including much substance, however, makes “Planet Unicorn” feel like a throwaway, not a series. And when most of the attempts at humor use the homosexuality-is-inherently-funny set-up…not impressed.

“Your Magic Touched Me Nights,” now in its fifth episode, copped out somewhat. The explanation for the set-up from episode four is a little too pat, and the arrester-of-Titty resolution is wholly unsatisfactory. Still, “Nights” amps things up James Cameron-style (see Aliens re Alien), and does so with such style and aplomb, it’s hard not to like what I see. And, given how difficult it is to make multi-episode storylines work, I’m willing to forgive a lot.

The only explanation I can come up with to explain the existence of “Reporters” is that the cast decided to drink heavily before working on the show, and the writers only jotted down a few phrases before filming. The whole thing feels ad libbed and stupid. Perhaps if I was drunk when I watched it, I would have found episode two enjoyable. As it was, I found it pretty painful. That said, I expect good things from Kelsy Abbott after “Reporters” is cancelled and she finds a more worthwhile project.

The fourth episode of “Quest” is a pleasant diversion, and involves a really cute child. Casting Elmo as the villain was a nice touch. Continuing to be skeptical of the corn-as-character decision is good. I do hope Mr. McCafferty realizes a conclusion to the quest should not be too far off, however. Your audience is waiting for Mel Gibson.

Mar

3

Channel 102 Roundup.

Filed Under Channel 101 | 1 Comment

In its fifth episode, “Defenders of Stan” slumps somewhat from last week’s brilliance. But it doesn’t slump far. “Stan” has developed as a program from its inception, building on a good set-up into a narratively interesting, competently made, and consistently funny show.

“The Jon and Jess Variety Hour” does something of a fake-out in lieu of a to-format third episode. Luckily, it works nicely. Featuring several fake rejected pilots (primarily simple pun parodies), a truncated much-welcome second “Anne Frank” episode, and a big “Fuck You” to the audience, Jon and Jess continue to provide belly laughs and the promise of robots. Hooray!

From the creators of “Mohels” comes “The Man Who Loved Lesbians.” A charming premise and execution, the giggles are too far between for my tastes.

“You don’t come back from the retard voice. That’s rule number one of salesmanship.” A mock reality show pilot, “Sell This Bike!” follows an invented dying breed: the shopless bicycle broker. Lightly amusing at times, but not really series material.

“S.H.R.T.M.S.” got somewhat weirder in its second episode. I say “somewhat” only because its first episode was so bizarre. I’m still not sure what the show is about, but I’m starting to care less. Why? Because there are so many reasons to love this program. Tons of laugh-out-loud moments. Enough strangeness to choke a werewolf. Nudity. Static electricity. Biblical quotations. A fancy wiener. Lovely.