Feb

24

DUI Phone.

Filed Under Law, Personal | 2 Comments

As part of my duties at work, I must carry around an extra mobile wherever I go. What’s the phone for? If a person is pulled over for a DUI and wants to speak with an attorney before deciding whether to submit to any of the various tests for drunkenness the police want to administer, I’m that attorney. Of course, people don’t usually get suspected of driving under the influence at reasonable hours. Which means, on occasion, Deb and I get woken up in the middle of the night. Often by an intoxicated person. In a bad mood.

To help ensure my beauty sleep is not interrupted more often than necessary, I implore all non-teetotaler motorists out there to consult an attorney before drinking and driving. Know what the legal limits are, and what it takes for you to get to that limit (e.g. four beers over two hours). Know whether there are enhanced penalties for extreme drunkenness (e.g. does your state, like Washington, look much more unfavorably upon a BAC of .15 as compared to a .14?). Know whether certain tests are voluntary (e.g. are there any negative consequences for failing to do the walk and turn?). Know whether there are consequences for refusing certain tests, regardless of whether a DUI conviction occurs (e.g. does one lose one’s license for refusing to blow into the machine?). Know whether the results of certain tests are admissible (e.g. can a cop tell a jury about the PBT results?).

And please, whatever you decide to do, be polite to the cops. Tell them no if you want. Be uncooperative. But don’t be impolite. It never helps and usually hurts.

Feb

23

Uhnellys.

Filed Under Music | 1 Comment

On Mike Doughty’s recommendation, I checked out a group called the Uhnellys. Being that I’m gainfully employed now, the check out manifested itself as a CD Baby purchase. The album, Jazooka, is reminiscent of DJ Krush, Soul Coughing, early G. Love, and Hawnay Troof. Only with a sizable rap component. In Japanese. Tasty and recommended.

Feb

20

Maya Angelou.

Filed Under Print Media | 2 Comments

D, A, and I went to see Maya Angelou on Sunday. Interesting lady. Highlight? Ms. Angelou rapping The Raven (the author of which Ms. Angelou referred to as “Eap“), then explaining how she originally came up with that cadence for the poem during the 40s, and being disappointed when she first heard it read aloud by someone else (Gregory Peck) with a more Shakespearian reading style.

Feb

17

Bean-eating monkey.

Filed Under Administrative | 5 Comments

Several months ago, I heard about a high-end coffee product that involved feeding the beans to some sort of primate, having him shit them out whole, cleaning them, and selling them for hundreds of dollars a pound. Apparently several others were looking for information about this coffee product and searched “bean-eating monkey” on Google. The first thing that comes up deals with this topic. However, my site is number three on the list, and does not deal with this topic at all. Nevertheless, according to Google Analytics, no fewer than three individuals looked at my site on the basis of the above search last Saturday alone. Creepy or cool?

Feb

17

Founding a sketch comedy troupe.

Filed Under Humor | 2 Comments

My brother called me several days ago in a tizzy about an idea he had: that he and I found a sketch comedy troupe. Well, he in fact suggested it be a multimedia collective. Which made him think of Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Which brought up the odd placement of the exclamation point (shouldn’t it be between “Godspeed” and “You,” existence of the film name-source notwithstanding?). And made me think of …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. And made me think that “multimedia collective” is really just a polite way of saying “group of intentionally bad artists.” Which in turn got me started thinking of bad art, most of which I have now forgotten.

But I digress. The purpose of this post is to remind myself when the new job starts to settle down that a sketch comedy troupe may be a good way to waste a few weekends. [Aside: the other aspect of my brother's suggestion is that the troupe/collective be named Monkey Throw Feces, because (1) we already have a killer logo, and (2) we already have a lot of intentionally bad art of the aural persuasion, so we wouldn't have to add as much video, performance art, and crude pornographic drawings to round out our live performances.] I thought up three ideas for sketches yesterday as I was walking home from work. [Aside: walking to and from work kicks so much ass.] I forgot one of them already, and the two I remembered aren’t funny. But I’ll share anyway.

The first, which I’m calling “Power Steering,” is a pretty typical exasperated man vs. broken record sketch. A guy driving a decade old green Saturn with power nothing goes to purchase a new automobile from an upscale dealer. The guy keeps asking whether each car has power steering, noting that he parallel parks occasionally, and that his current vehicle’s lack of power steering makes things difficult. The salesman gets increasingly frustrated as he explains over and over again that all the dealership’s cars have power steering, and other interesting features to boot, which he would be more than happy to talk about. This sketch could be done well in about a minute twenty. Or it could be done poorly in three. Or it could be done excellently in fifteen.

The other sketch involves a sunny day in a sunny place. One guy keeps walking around, smiling, and commenting how nice a day it is. Everyone else shields their eyes, walks around with parasols, grumbling about the weather. When the smiler comments positively about the lack of clouds, etc., the normal people violently erupt, asking what the fuck he’s talking about. The normals reaction is roughly the same as usually seen in response to the polar bear crowd, who digs on the briskness of sub-zero temperatures.

Feb

14

Last legs laptop.

Filed Under Personal | 4 Comments

I have not had good experience with my laptops. My current Dell developed lines across the screen within a few weeks, developed a problem with the ethernet card within a few months, started running hot and slow shortly thereafter, and stopped taking in audio a while ago. Not to mention having a too-small hard drive that filled up months ago with music. Now? Part of the moving process involved stacking lots of books on the mantle of my fireplace. Today, as Deb tried to put some of them away, the precarious stacking job I did unraveled. In short: boom. Binders’ papers spilled all over the floor. The spark screen fell to the floor. And a book fell on my laptop–which had been living on the base of the fireplace since I moved in–lost its “K” key. A little glue may fix this problem shortly, but when do I have time?

Feb

10

First week done.

Filed Under Personal | 5 Comments

Whew.

Feb

4

Moved in (mostly).

Filed Under Personal | 3 Comments

Whirlwind last few days. Thursday involved packing, driving plants to Oly, interviewing for a job, being offered the job at the end of the interview (isn’t that how it should always be?), driving back to Seattle. Friday involved taking the job, packing, driving to Oly with Cooper, and some surprisingly great Indian food. Took a few pictures of the empty house to give you an idea of what it looks like. Saturday, packed, picked up the truck around noon (later than expected; never reserve a truck through U-Haul’s website). Andrea came down and helped. Stuff was loaded into truck. Tired, sat in Seattle traffic. Had half-and-halfs in wine glasses and Thai food. Due to poor planning, slept in a hobo bed (loosely organized coats) on the floor (D had a warm sleeping bag, though). Woke up sore. Unloaded truck. Tonia and Ellen drove in and helped. Ate at the local McMenamins. Returned truck in Oly. Napped. Exhausted. Now have to figure out where the things are located that I’ll need for work tomorrow.

Feb

2

As a favor to Neil Gaiman…

Filed Under Broadcast Media | Leave a Comment

…I’m going to heed his request. Penn Jillette. That said, after listening to the episode from Penn’s radio program, I think I might have linked to it without Neil asking. Funny stuff.

Feb

1

Nina Simone.

Filed Under Music | 4 Comments

At several points during the past couple of years, I became acquainted with the singer Nina Simone. The first two installments of the Verve Remixed series introduced us. The affecting final sequence of Before Sunset furthered our relationship. The finale of “Sexual Intercourse: American Style” represented a shit-or-get-off-the-pot moment. With a Bob Dylan cover, no less. I either have to fall deeply in love with the music of Nina Simone, or I have to move on.

I’ve tentatively opted for love. And so I’m soliciting recommendations. I don’t really know where to start. What recordings should I listen to? What albums should I purchase? What performances ought I not miss?

keep looking »