Oct

31

Lavender: Part I

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It was an interesting experience passing during the conference this past week/end. I don’t think I did much to encourage–other than continuing to refer to Deb as my “partner”–but I also did not do much to discourage the other conference attendees from assuming, and treating me as gay. I’m not sure why I was so ambivalent…

Oct

31

Raina.

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The late trio that dog. had a song on its first album called “Raina.” Which appears, at first glance, to be directed at a woman named “Raina.” “Raina, she blew my mind. She made me sick inside.” And, upon further inspection, this interpretation holds up. But nevertheless, I propose an alternate interpretation. One rife with needless difficulties. And it is this: that the song’s lyrics are directed at the song itself.

The song had a mouth on “her” that you’d “never want to find.” The song’s singer walked the song to the door, saying she wasn’t too keen on looking at “her” anymore. The song, and its chitterchat, made the singer sick inside. It makes less sense than the obvious interpretation. But it still, with the proper frame of mind, makes some sense.

And thus, when “Raina” is stuck in my head, I feel nauseous.

Oct

30

Pancakes.

Filed Under Food & Drink | 1 Comment

I seem to have procured a really great pancake recipe from somewhere. And I’d like to share it with my readers:

  1. Melt 6 tablespoons of butter (3/4 of a stick) in a pan.
  2. Beat two eggs together with 1 cup of milk in a medium-sized bowl.
  3. Pour the butter into the egg mixture.
  4. Stir in 1 and 1/4 cups of flour, 2 teaspoons of sugar, 4 teaspoons of baking powder, and 3/4 teaspoon of salt.
  5. Pour the batter into original pan in pancake-sized dollops.
  6. Cook until brown on one side, flip, then eat.
  7. Repeat steps 4 and 5 until the batter is gone.
  8. Drink half-gallon of orange juice to get that yummy flavor out of your mouth.

Enjoy!

Oct

30

Religion and masturbation.

Filed Under Humor, Religion | 1 Comment

Came to a conclusion lately: religion is like masturbation. Both are perfectly natural, healthy, widely practiced activities. Both are looked upon disapprovingly by certain narrow-minded individuals. Both are often practiced by those same narrow-minded individuals. There’s money to be made in the penumbra of both, although both are essentially free, noncommercial activities. And it is not really appropriate to do either in public. Or talk about either with strangers. Or try to coerce others into adopting your particular way of doing things. Sure, it isn’t at all unusual or rude to have discussions, including making suggestions about technique and form, among friends. But the proselytizing over the radio–the “shock jocks” who suggest sitting on your hand so it feels like someone else is helping you out, or the “evangelists” who suggest eternal hellfire will follow nonbelievers–are simply rude. Of course I’m enough of a First Amendment junkie that I recognize banning these practices does more harm than good. But come on people. It just isn’t cool to press the particulars of your button-pressing and prayer-beading on others. Especially strangers. And I think the sooner we as a society recognize this, the sooner we’ll all be comfortable around most everyone.

Oct

24

San Diego.

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I’m leaving on Wednesday for the Lavender Law Conference in San Diego. Which should yield a story or two…

Oct

18

Public defender’s aside.

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“I’m gonna be so hard on that girl on cross, I’ll make her wish she’d never been raped.”

Oct

13

Citizen of the “No Tar” Republic.

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I once met a man who claimed to be a citizen of the “no tar” republic. Well, actually he said he was a “no tar” republic. But I understood what he meant. The language barrier, coming from some tar-less land to this tar-full land must have been incredible. Poor guy.

He tried to stamp my affidavit. So I hit him with a pitchfork and buried him in the peat bog out back. I can only hope his corpse felt at home, what with the total absence of tar there…

Oct

12

Beer snob.

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It constantly amazes me that anyone would stoop to purchasing Budweiser or MGD when there are so many quality beers available. I’ve stumbled upon this very new, but highly promising site called Coastr. And I’ve started creating my very own “Wall of Beer.” Fun!

Oct

7

Porn drift.

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This page contains a fabulous explanation–and label–for a phenomenon I have noted while in sociology mode. “We do feature bisexual videos (and by that, of course, we mean bisexual men – bi-girl action is pretty much a given in the straight section) and every now and then someone you didn’t expect will dip his first toe into the gay end of the pool.”