Alright. So my brother and I named our band “Monkey Throw Feces.” Because I’m an unoriginal fuck, I decided to call my radio show last Spring “Monkey Throw Feces” (which was, as an aside, an all hip hop show; humorous, because I know so little about hip hop). Last semester went off without a hitch. And being a truly unoriginal fuck, I decided not to change the name this Fall. Only I just got told by the station manager that I cannot use the name. Because the FCC won’t allow it. Because human excrement is out.
September 16, 2004
So SODA is having a drag show tomorrow night. By “having,” I mean we are allowing a local club called “The Beach” to put our name up, promoting the show, having our own performers, and getting a cut of the tickets sold. Good.
So I wasn’t planning on performing. Because I have stagefright is the easiest explanation. But I got dragged into being a backup “singer/dancer” for a girl named Melissa who is doing an Elvis impersonation. Neat.
Perhaps Saturday I’ll have pictures for all you lovely people.
September 15, 2004
I was in a bar last Friday, starting the evening binge a shade early–around 4 PM–and chatting up this guy. Well, he was chatting up my friend, asking her for money for a football pool. Neat. Apparently she won $108 from this cat two years back in the same pool after picking the games more-or-less at random, so who am I to intervene.
So the subject of Florida’s crazy weather came up. I lightly suggested global warming was at fault. He jumped on me. Literally. Then he said, “no one who’s spent a winter in Chicago can believe in global warming.”
Listen up. This is not something you can discount, like the existence of extra-terrestrials or Jerry Springer. A bunch of really good scientists have established with as near certainty possible that the planet is getting warmer at an extremely fast rate. And that humans are a significant cause of that warming trend. And that it will in all likelihood have a bunch of bad effects. Including an increase in hurricane frequency.
Yes, there are some areas where the data is not certain. For example, they don’t yet know how much humans are responsible. Are we 90% responsible, or only 70% responsible? They don’t know yet how much worse it is going to get, in terms of speed and in terms of temperature change. They don’t know how fast we can reverse the trend. Some even doubt we can reverse the trend.
Let me analogize. Say we have a serial killer roaming around New York City. Say the serial killer is a bit of a strange duck, and instead of dismembering his victims on every encounter, sometimes he hands them $100. You can argue about whether the serial killer killed this particular murder victim. You can argue about how many people he’s killed in total. You can argue about how to stop him. But you sound like an idiot when you 1) discount his existence by suggesting all his victims died of natural causes, or 2) claim that because he hands out $100 bills sometimes, perhaps he’s not such a bad thing for the city.
So to that football pool guy that thinks that because Chicago is still cold (although, to be honest, I’m not sure it is as cold as it once was; better ask someone with records than trying to rack your brain), global warming is a hoax: shut the fuck up…you never even been to Chicago.
September 10, 2004
I just saw a bumper sticker with the following text:
“As a former fetus, I oppose abortion.”
I’m hereby suggestion a variation on the same theme: